stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
