my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the raccoons are back...
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