Your dad touched me again.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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