I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
