Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
