can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
