the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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