Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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