i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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