i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
tell me about the fingering
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