North Korea, Best Korea!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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