And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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