We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's always time for handjobs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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