Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you never un-have a 4some
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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