Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
