Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
