were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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