No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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