I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
