i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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