Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
