dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
