This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
