My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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