Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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