if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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