My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
