so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
