Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
