she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize