I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
