Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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