I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
