You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
