Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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