remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
