i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
