overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
