I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
