Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
