Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize