is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
