I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
