GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
