I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
