Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
