omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
