Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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