Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
