ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Randomize
