Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im holly from the hills drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize