You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize