5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
