Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
