Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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