Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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