i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
