Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
