first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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