I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
