I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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