I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
