i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
