i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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