Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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