your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
