we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
