Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
