i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
