I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
