I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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