My nipple is on Facebook.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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