I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
