I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
