you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize